I threw my hands out the window, feeling the wind rush between my fingers. I closed my eyes and smiled at the summer sun heating up my face. This road trip was the highlight of my vacation, and I was determined to take in every moment. It was the second time in two years Giselle and I would drive across the country together. She’s kind of a badass, and I was grateful to get so much time with her. She was moving from North Carolina to Texas to finish up grad school, so this time together felt precious. I had something major to tell her. But not right now.

“Georgia! First time seeing that license plate. Where are we?” I yelled over Nelly’s “Country Grammar”.

“South Carolina but almost to the Georgia state line”, Giselle yelled back.  “I need to call Blake and let her know we will be rolling up in about two hours.”

We were spending the night in Atlanta with one of our high school friends for a couple of nights. Giselle had every inch of this road trip planned, and I wasn’t mad about it. I wondered if I should tell her before we arrived at Blake’s house or wait until tomorrow. I had already stalled through parts one and two of our trip. We had two legs left to go after Atlanta, and my stomach was not going to stop flipping until I told her. I stuck my hand out the window to feel the sun and waited for Giselle to finish up her call with Blake.

“Alright we will see you soon. Bye!” Giselle hung up her phone from the steering wheel. “Ok, turn up the music! We got less than two hours left.”

“Hold on a sec. Let’s chat”, I said nervously. I could tell G knew right away something was up. She stared straight ahead and said, “Ok. Let’s talk.”

“I am sorry I have waited so long to tell you this. I didn’t really understand it at the time. We were in high school, and who the heck tells people these things?” I could feel the sweat pooling in my armpits.

“Well, ok…”, Giselle giggled.

“Why are you giggling at me?” I said trying to stall as long as possible. I needed to calm down so I didn’t throw up all over her car. I was positive she’d make me walk the rest of the way to Texas if I did.

“I’m not…I’m sorry. I’m listening”, Giselle said with a smirk.

“Giselle, I’m bisexual.” I only felt a little relieved. I knew I hadn’t told her the whole truth. I was very, very gay. “Lesbian” is what I should have said, but maybe she’ll take it better. It’s so confusing right now since I’m married to Josh, and we didn’t have all day for me to explain everything. But why was it so difficult to tell my best friend of fifteen years something she probably already knew? I sat quietly waiting for her response.

“Ok. Awesome.”

“Yeah. It’s been a lot to work through. A lot.” I took a few deep breaths. “Are you upset? Do you have any questions? We can talk more about it later, but I had to tell you. No time felt perfect, so…” I squirmed in my seat, slightly wishing I could roll out the door without harming myself.

“K, I love you, and while I didn’t necessarily see that one coming, I love you. I want to know everything. Maybe I’ll have questions at some point, but right now, just know that I think you’re the greatest. How did it feel to tell someone?”

I took a few more deep breaths. “Scary. It hasn’t really sunk in that I told you. But I am a little relieved.”

Giselle’s phone rings throughout the car speakers. It’s a nice break for me. I needed a second to process what just happened. I put my face out the window to feel the sun. The warmth felt like a face hug, and I wanted to cry.

“Sure, we will meet you at J’s BBQ. I’ll let you know our new ETA shortly. Ok, bye.”

G looked over at me with a big smile. “Want some BBQ for lunch?”

“Hell yes I do. I’m excited to be out of the car.”

“You can’t be tired of me already. We still have two days of driving left before we arrive in San Diego.

“That’s not what I meant, silly. You know that.”

“I know. Love you, Ky. I’m proud of you. Tell me everything”

I wanted to take advantage of our time and tell her everything. Two hours didn’t feel like enough, but it would have to do. I took a drink of iced coffee and settled into my seat.

“Thanks, friend. Love you, too. For starters, I’m a lesbian. I’m not bisexual.”

“I had a feeling that was coming!” Giselle howled.

We laughed and took in her hilarious response. “WOO! Ky is a lesbian!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. My stomach was hurting from laughing so hard.

“Why are you so damn excited?” I managed to say through serious giggles. “I have a husband at home who will definitely not share the same sentiment.”

“Kya, how long have you known? Your whole life?” Giselle asked as if she already knew the answer.

“Well, yeah. But you know why coming out would be hellish. Between the church and my preacher kid status, I am set up to burn in hell according to them. Marrying Josh was safe, and we were young, you know? It’s just after staying through the affair, thinking he would change and our life would return to its perfect, boring state, I realized that I can’t do this anymore. I’m done living like this. It’s not me, and it never was.” I choked up and noticed Giselle, nodding in agreement as I spoke. I could see her eyes welling up.

“You’re so brave, Ky. You’re just so dang brave”, she said through tears.

“I’m ready, G. I have no idea what that means or what any of this will look like. I just know things have to change.”

“You’re already changing, Kya, and I’m here for it.”

“You’re the best friend. Thanks for caring.”

Giselle reached over and grabbed my hand. “Thanks for trusting me, Ky. Thanks for trusting yourself.”

“Uh, you’re welcome?” We both laughed. Trusting myself was the goal. This was just the beginning.

“BBQ! BBQ!” I chanted out the window and Giselle turned up our road trip playlist. We had 30 minutes left, and I could taste the ribs and barbecue sauce on my lips